Skip to my Lou, my darlin' (yeah, I'm skipping around)

I usually have a very healthy outlook of myself. There is a person on my FB (yes, I'm going to bitch about FB AGAIN) who wrote as her status something like 'Would you rather work out an hour a day or be dead 24 hours a day?'. First off, that's really dumb. Second, there are people that work out who die young. Third, you can be healthy without working out for an hour a day. I know what she was trying to say but seriously she is such a work out snob. I have friends on my FB who work out or run...and they are enthusiastic about it but they don't tell me I'm gonna die if I don't. That's just dumb. I don't like her. She's Foy's cousin. I'll probably keep her on my page but I don't like her.

I also saw today that some woman is gonna love herself no matter what BUT she did lose 26 lbs and works out 5 days a week. SMH. I won't tell her so but that but just defeated her. If you have to lose weight or work out to love yourself then your already climbing the wrong damn tree. I mean, it's great to do those things but your body size should not be tied into your self worth. I really like to focus on being healthy and not losing weight. I hate women with weight issues. Lose weight or stfu. Then again that's how I feel about most issues. JUST DO IT.

On a semi-related topic, I was talking with my brother, Cash about how he has to get away when he's 18. He's gonna have a road to climb and it might not be easy but unless he wants to be ruled by Mom for the rest of his life then he's gonna have to get out. I talked about my struggle and my road out. He said, "Man, you must be mentally tough.". You know what, I am. I never really thought of putting it that way. I know I'm tough on people. I don't stand for bull shit. I don't make excuses. I won't listen to them whine. I feel like I'm not sympathetic enough....but I'm mentally tough. I don't let myself use stupid excuses. I ride myself just as roughly as I ride other people. I like to get to the bottom line while other people are still trying to soften the blow. I don't know why I'm this way. I feel like Sheldon, lol. I don't get what the norm is ....well, I do but mostly I don't get WHY we have to do some of the things we do. I totally get him (this is a Big Bang reference BTW which I'm obsessed with lately). Bazinga!

I'm a little disappointed in a couple of my diaper purchases lately. I got ordered 3 customs from 2 different WAHM's and they are taking FOREVER. I'm kinda done with customs after this! I'm finally suppose to be getting one next week but we'll see. I asked about the other one and she said sending them out the beginning of next week so hopefully I'll get two next week and one is a little farther out and it's the one I wanted badly. They are kinda turning me off and frustrating me.

Anyways, it's late and I've had a long day with Ezra. He is doing some serious teething. He took a couple naps but he's fussy and I had a hard time getting him to sleep. We had a rough night last night and I'm expecting one again tonight.

We had plans this weekend but they didn't work out. :( I'm pretty bummed about it but I do hope that at least maybe I could get some time away from home without the kids. I could really use a break....just for a drink or a movie or both. Even if I could get my nails done or maybe go shopping for a few minutes. Just anything would be good for my psyche.

I have NO sex drive lately. It's horrible. I'm pretty sure it's the breastfeedings fault. I mean after the other 3 kids I got it back pretty quick but now I have zero, zilch, nada, NONE. I have had low sex drive at points during my 10 years of marriage but I've never had none, til now that is. I feel bad for Foy. Any time we have had it, it's been pity sex and I was really just ready to get it over with before it started. I think this is probably biology, nature, whatever you wanna call it's way of spacing our children apart. I haven't gotten my period back (THAT IS SO FREAKIN' AWESOME!) and I have no drive. Not that we're getting pregnant again anyways but there is no chance this way, lol. Plus we always use condoms because I'm not dumb and I know that I can still be ovulating while not bleeding.

It's late. I don't have time to proofread this. I need to hurry to bed so Foy won't pressure me for sex when he gets home. That's sad, I know. I can't help it.