Momma's Boy

I'm gonna make this boy the biggest Momma's boy in the whole world! I can't wait til he tells some wife, "That's not the way my Momma does it.". I can't wait to make some DIL miserable *fill in evil laughter here*.

HEY, at least he's peeing AND inappropriate laughter

I am working on my birth story but it's gonna take awhile and take some revisions. It's also super long so I was gonna trim it some.

Ezra has peed on me twice just today, haha. And even when I wanna get aggravated with it I just find myself being thankful that at least he's peeing and it's not dark or smelly like it was there for a few days before he was jaundice. That's me in a nut shell. When I should be bitching I can't help but feel lucky and grateful. I almost always can find something positive.

Also another thought I had today..

I was remembering when I was in labor and I was talking about how my water had stopped leaking and it probably meant that his head had dropped down and blocked the opening. I asked if there was probably more fluid in there and the nurse said yes, that even then (in labor) he was constantly making it by peeing. She said the only way that you wouldn't have more amniotic is if it was something crazy like the baby didn't have kidneys AND I LAUGHED. I'm not kidding. I nervously giggled like she made a joke and then I said, "I don't know why I'm laughing. That's not funny." and my mw in a very pissy way said, "No, it's not funny.". I really didn't think it was funny. I mean that's awful. It was just a nervous reaction. I had a lot going on!

I was just beginning to get comfortable. After unexpectedly going to the hospital things were kinda going my way. They were agreeing to the saline lock so I could be off the IV most of the time. I had got Starla even though she wasn't on call. She had agreed to deliver my baby. I was petrified I would get one of those other doctors and I did NOT want an OB. And Starla was down with intermittent monitoring so it was all going my way...well, as much as it could be when it wasn't. I knew there would be things I could change that they would work with me on and there were things they were gonna be inflexible about. I also got a WHOLE day of skin to skin. No one ever took my baby from me and when they finally did at like midnight that night I followed them into the nursery with him and stayed til he was done with his hearing test and bath. He didn't put on clothes til we headed home  the next day and that was a little bit of heaven. We stayed close. I feel very close to him and it's definitely benefited our breast feeding relationship.

Even with the jaundice hiccup we are doing great with breast feeding. Probably mostly because I insisted on the SNS device. I am proud of myself for standing on that issue. I was very fragile then and I could have given in easily. They thought I was a bit of a bitch. I could see it in their eyes...well, some of their eyes. Thank God for good nurses. Ezra's night nurse was a God send. If we'd had that morning bitch as a nurse for more than a couple of hours we were gonna have a problem. She wanted me to use the SNS to feed him with MY finger. I tried latching him with it to my boob and it was just too uncomfortable. With the latching issues we already have (him being tongue tied and all), it wasn't working and honestly...I was upset he had to have formula. I just couldn't wrap my mind around ME feeding it to him. I feed him breast milk. I don't WANT to feed him formula. It goes against everything I've set my mind on. Anyways, the nurse was feeding him with her finger while he was in my lap (the formula) but the morning nurse came in telling me I was gonna have to do it and OH btw, your probably gonna be here til tonight while the night nurse had been so positive and said she didn't see why we wouldn't be going home that morning. We did go home that morning despite what that bitch said. I had made up my mind that if she left me in our room feeding him formula with the SNS that as soon as she turned her back it was going down the sink. :p I was happy they were letting me breast feed him regularly too. The night nurse even let us skip some of the formula on the DL because he was nursing so good. He ended up only getting about 2-3 oz total of formula. He was in my room the whole time when we were there for jaundice as well. The nurses were pretty understanding that I had wanted a home birth experience and I wanted my baby with me ALL THE TIME. His little lighted bed stayed in the room and they checked his bili and his temp in the room. He was such a trooper. He LOVED the lights. It would have broke my heart if he had hated it. It would have been so hard.

I am definitely gonna work on my birth story some more..while the memory is fresh but not too fresh, haha. Too fresh = I was like FUCK THAT NO PAIN MEDS SHIT but now in retrospect, (so much rosier) I'm glad I went with out it. Just another aspect of my birth story that I could control even when I felt out of control.