Fifty Shades of Grey Review (Thumbs down)

OMG, OH MY GOD, I hate this book series. I never realized how little it takes to shock the modern Mom. What fucking pussies. I swear, this book has got them all in a tizzy. I read it...all 3 of them and I've seriously read better, racier sex scenes in my vampire erotica. I do not see the big deal. And if they aren't reading it for the sex then ....well, there is no other reason to read it. I like a good sex series as much as the next girl but there is no freaking plot in these. NONE. There is a sex scene every three pages. And it's not even the sex that annoys me the most. It's the vibe, I guess. He wants to 'take care of her'..poor little woman can't take care of herself. He needs to 'protect' her...uh hmm, CONTROL her. I can't stand the way she acts if she 'disobeys' him. GROW THE FUCK UP woman. I don't care what he endured as a child. I wouldn't put up with that shit for a sec. A little sexual playing..whatever. I'll play the girl who needs to be rescued and I might like a take charge man in the bedroom now and then but that irl shit, I ain't no little woman. Women act like they'd like a control freak husband like this. How they want to be cared for and loved. That isn't love. That's control. There's a difference. All this...'your mine' shit. Love doesn't make me somebody's slave.

These women who are going gaga over it and I swear there are so many (I'm seeing this book everywhere) are idiots. Plain and simple. The way he acts and how she excuses him is bullshit. I don't care how much money you got and how safe you want me to be...if I wanna fucking get drinks with my girlfriend instead of obeying your orders I fucking will. And it's inexcusable that a whole country (maybe world) full of women are eating this shit up. I hope to God my girls grow up with more sense than most of the women I'm seeing.

I'm done now. Suffice it to say, I HATE IT. And I just wanna say it.

Time Magazine Cover

So I saw the cover a week or so ago and have seen much ado about it on my internet sites and on FB. At the time I reserved judgement. I have to say it was a shocking cover was my first thought and of course second was probably how old is that kid and thirdly I probably thought yay, breastfeeding. After having some time to mull over the cover and responses I have more to say. First I will address just the photo.

The photo was provocative. Of course that's everything a magazine wants in a cover, right? It was disturbing and I couldn't put my finger on WHY. I think extended bfing is good. I mostly think it's up to each person and their child to decide for how long they would like to breastfeed. So now why did the cover just rub me wrong? Well, in all honesty I couldn't put my finger on it until I read a response or blog somewhere that helped me get a grasp on what I felt. First there is the Mom. She's all blonde and perky and skinny jeans. Most Moms I know don't quite fit in that category. Maybe I don't know the right Moms or maybe that's misrepresentative of MOST of the Mom population. Then there is her face and where she's looking. Most women when bfing (at any age I assume) look at their child. They touch their child..holding them, cradling them. It's called attachment parenting...not detached parenting which is how she strikes me in the pose. I say the pose because if she truly practices attachment parenting then I'm sure she's not detached. Someone says she looks defiant. Yes, she does. She's defending her choice though. I get it..somewhat. The chair makes it worse. I know a couple of Moms who extended breastfeed who said they have used the chair but it's not a common way to breastfeed. It makes the boy look older. And the way the kid isn't touching her. It's just a pic that doesn't accurately portray it at all.

Here is some of the other photos that were taken at the shoot. There is one of the same woman and boy which much more portrays attachment parenting but wasn't shocking enough I'm sure.


Then I bought the magazine when I was grocery shopping at Smith's and I was only paragraphs into it and I had a problem..well, a couple of problems. I have a problem with this line.

"Attachment parenting dogma also says that every baby's wimper is a plea for help and that no infant should ever be left to cry."

Okay, putting wimper in the sentence is going a little far. I don't think a wimper counts as a cry. Maybe it's how YOU define attachment parenting but I think that's being a little picky. It makes it sound....ya know.

This line makes me angrier: "...prevalence of this philosophy has shifted mainstream American parenting toward a style that's more about parental devotion and sacrifice than about raising self-sufficient kids."
I'm pretty sure you just insulted attachment parents and their children by saying they aren't "self-sufficient".  Which I'm gonna call bullshit on.

I haven't read the article any further but I will. So far this is not unbiased journalism at all. Even the pic AND TITLE are meant to be inflammatory.

What I think about extended breastfeeding: Whatever floats your boat! I'm not you. I'm not your kids parent. I don't think it's disgusting or awful or child abuse. I think you should wean when you want to. I don't know yet what I'll do with Ezra. Right now my goal is a year. I'd like to do it two but let's stick with a year and then we'll see. After two if I feel comfortable and he does..who knows, we may keep going. I certainly won't let anyone else's thoughts on the subject decide for me. I don't think there is a milestone that screams wean me like..when they get teeth or when they can sign for it or when they can ask for it or when they can walk. I won't be looking for these things to decide for me or a person.

As a ff (formula feeding) parent I would have probably disagreed with this pic and extended breastfeeding. But being a ebf parent now...I'm different. I changed my mind. Shocker! I'm allowed to do that. I'm allowed to broaden my horizons. I have met Moms online who bf without covers and suddenly that doesn't look awful either. I've talk to women who extended breastfeed and seen pics and that doesn't look like it's condemning them to hell either. I don't think ff Moms should be allowed an opinion on the pic. Until you've bf then I don't think you can look at the pic the same way as a bf Mom. Having been both I feel like I can say that in the least hypocritical way.

I will finish the article and may write some overall thoughts on it when I'm done. I think I'm gonna buy that Dr. Sears book too.

On to brighter, happier subjects...I have FOUR new dipes coming. The three I mentioned in a pp (previous post) and now I have a WAHM dipe coming that I'm gonna test for her. I'm pretty excited about it. It's a minky. I love minky material. I have the smallest baby that's testing her dipes so I wanna make sure and give her comprehensive and honest feedback. I met her on my cding group. Here is the dipe (it's so cute with puppies on it!). The wipe solution that I was using is not good for Ezra though. Yes, we're using cloth wipes too. It was easy to do that since we're already cding. They just go in the diaper pail with the dipes and wash with them and dry with them and they are just as easy to carry on the go. I just pre-wet a few and stick them in a wipe container or plastic bag.  It makes his bum sore so that went in the trash. This was the solution I used: Lusa Organics Baby Wipe Juice. For now we're just gonna use water. I may get some Dr. Bronner's soap (I saw some at GNC) and use just a drop of it in the water eventually. I put the wipes (when we're home) in an old wipe container with some water. I need to find my wipe warmer and I will put them in that I think. Someone mentioned using a spray bottle and I hadn't thought of that, duh. What a great idea! I might do that soon. t was thinking of using Dr. Bronner's on my CD's too but I need to do more research on that. I heard some bad things about Rockin' Green today so now I'm hesitant to use that. So far my BumGenius powder I bought is still going strong and doing that job. I was also thinking of trying Charlie's Soap.

Thank God for Boobies!

I haven't posted in a while. Mainly because my Mother and brothers have been here for a month A MOOOONTH and just left Tuesday and I finally got the computer away from her. She is SO addicted to Farmville. I'm not even joking!!! It's horrible. She spends like every waking minute on here (the computer) when she's not washing clothes or going somewhere. UUUUUGH.

I love her. Inexplicably, I do. She is irritating and crazy and abusive and insane and stubborn and mean and stupid. I am worried for Cash. He isn't getting schooled. He's 14 and basically on a 4th grade level in school. She spends the whole day on Farmville (by her own admission) and doesn't school him or Caden. She should send them to school but it would do no good for me to interfere. I would just be excommunicated and nothing would change. Then I wouldn't even be there for the little bit I can help them with other things. I try to show them 'normal' when she's so far from normal. Especially Cash. Caden has his Dad. He gets some normalcy there. I can't think about it much because it makes me crazy and sad and I.....I just can't linger on the problem.

On to my particular life, Ezra was 6 weeks on Tuesday. He's so precious.

*breastfeeding break*......and *again*.....and *again*

Haha, yep that's pretty much how my day goes. I don't mind usually. I occasionally get touched out. Actually the other day I was feeling that way...well, actually it was right around his 3 week mark (which I'm sure was a growth spurt) and then I saw this commercial on tv about formula. It showed this nice lady in her white lab coat formulating the best formula for your baby and I thought...NOPE, that's ok. I MAKE MILK! And it's not from a lab or artificial. It's the real deal. I feel good that's he's all fat and healthy and is EBF (exclusively breast fed...for those not up on the lingo).

breastfeeding break...and again..and I give up and will finish this blog later.

Ok, a day later and I'm back.

I am thankful to be breastfeeding. It's going well.  I get frustrated when I want to help people be successful at bfing. Foy and I have a friend (male) whose wife just had a baby. I don't know her well but we know him. Foy was talking to him and they are supplementing with a week old baby (formula and some pumped breast milk) and feeding her a bottle. That's the slippery slope that will lead to failure and I want to say something but feel it isn't my place and I don't want to be pushy but it's so frustrating.

We are also working on cloth diapering full time. Right now we are on days and disposables at night (or as Foy calls them "the fake diapers"), haha. I ordered 3 more diapers (a Happy Hieney's and Kawaii that I've never tried and my fav dipe Fuzzibunz) and when we get those then maybe we can move to full time. BUT 3 of my diapers aren't going to fit soon. I have two lil joey's that are newborn size and a small Bottom Bumper. If I can convince  Roxie to cloth diaper then I will give them to her. They have been some of my fav. I am establishing favs. I like pockets. So much for thinking I was gonna love AIO's. Oopsy. I like the Fuzzibunz a lot and the minky inserts are my fav. They soak up well and clean up beautifully. The AIO's are a pain in my ass. They will NOT dry and they stain worse. The pockets clean up nicely. I ordered some RLR and hopefully that will help with stains. Not that any of them are too bad. Plus I heard sunning them helps with the stains and I had Foy set up me up a clothes line in the sun yesterday so on wash day (tomorrow) I'm gonna put them on there. It will be good for them and give them a break from the dryer. Bad dryer.

I am learning and fixing mistakes. It feels good.

I am becoming such an online person, haha. I belong to some groups that I would have never made it without. The online breastfeeding group has been so supportive, helpful and informative. Mad props to them in the absence of a La Leche league. I so wish we had one here. Also the cloth diapering group has been so helpful filling in the blanks on my self educating myself about cloth diapers. They are currently helping me with Hyena Cart/ Congos on there. And my due date group. They have been supportive and company to me...even if just online. They are where I could take my overflow of baby talk when FB didn't wanna hear it. And now they get all the pics and baby obsession that's going on now so I can spare FB most of it. I LOVE posting bfing pics in my breastfeeding group. It's so nice to not be ashamed. I'm adept at NIP with a cover and I hope to soon be good at it without one. It's nice to have them to vent to.

I will share one of my bfing pics. Because this is my blog and I do what I want on it. :)

I love this pic. I say he's saying a little prayer...THANK GOD FOR BOOBIES! :D

Life is good. My husband is fantastic. The older children love Ezra and he is a joy.

Momma's Boy

I'm gonna make this boy the biggest Momma's boy in the whole world! I can't wait til he tells some wife, "That's not the way my Momma does it.". I can't wait to make some DIL miserable *fill in evil laughter here*.

HEY, at least he's peeing AND inappropriate laughter

I am working on my birth story but it's gonna take awhile and take some revisions. It's also super long so I was gonna trim it some.

Ezra has peed on me twice just today, haha. And even when I wanna get aggravated with it I just find myself being thankful that at least he's peeing and it's not dark or smelly like it was there for a few days before he was jaundice. That's me in a nut shell. When I should be bitching I can't help but feel lucky and grateful. I almost always can find something positive.

Also another thought I had today..

I was remembering when I was in labor and I was talking about how my water had stopped leaking and it probably meant that his head had dropped down and blocked the opening. I asked if there was probably more fluid in there and the nurse said yes, that even then (in labor) he was constantly making it by peeing. She said the only way that you wouldn't have more amniotic is if it was something crazy like the baby didn't have kidneys AND I LAUGHED. I'm not kidding. I nervously giggled like she made a joke and then I said, "I don't know why I'm laughing. That's not funny." and my mw in a very pissy way said, "No, it's not funny.". I really didn't think it was funny. I mean that's awful. It was just a nervous reaction. I had a lot going on!

I was just beginning to get comfortable. After unexpectedly going to the hospital things were kinda going my way. They were agreeing to the saline lock so I could be off the IV most of the time. I had got Starla even though she wasn't on call. She had agreed to deliver my baby. I was petrified I would get one of those other doctors and I did NOT want an OB. And Starla was down with intermittent monitoring so it was all going my way...well, as much as it could be when it wasn't. I knew there would be things I could change that they would work with me on and there were things they were gonna be inflexible about. I also got a WHOLE day of skin to skin. No one ever took my baby from me and when they finally did at like midnight that night I followed them into the nursery with him and stayed til he was done with his hearing test and bath. He didn't put on clothes til we headed home  the next day and that was a little bit of heaven. We stayed close. I feel very close to him and it's definitely benefited our breast feeding relationship.

Even with the jaundice hiccup we are doing great with breast feeding. Probably mostly because I insisted on the SNS device. I am proud of myself for standing on that issue. I was very fragile then and I could have given in easily. They thought I was a bit of a bitch. I could see it in their eyes...well, some of their eyes. Thank God for good nurses. Ezra's night nurse was a God send. If we'd had that morning bitch as a nurse for more than a couple of hours we were gonna have a problem. She wanted me to use the SNS to feed him with MY finger. I tried latching him with it to my boob and it was just too uncomfortable. With the latching issues we already have (him being tongue tied and all), it wasn't working and honestly...I was upset he had to have formula. I just couldn't wrap my mind around ME feeding it to him. I feed him breast milk. I don't WANT to feed him formula. It goes against everything I've set my mind on. Anyways, the nurse was feeding him with her finger while he was in my lap (the formula) but the morning nurse came in telling me I was gonna have to do it and OH btw, your probably gonna be here til tonight while the night nurse had been so positive and said she didn't see why we wouldn't be going home that morning. We did go home that morning despite what that bitch said. I had made up my mind that if she left me in our room feeding him formula with the SNS that as soon as she turned her back it was going down the sink. :p I was happy they were letting me breast feed him regularly too. The night nurse even let us skip some of the formula on the DL because he was nursing so good. He ended up only getting about 2-3 oz total of formula. He was in my room the whole time when we were there for jaundice as well. The nurses were pretty understanding that I had wanted a home birth experience and I wanted my baby with me ALL THE TIME. His little lighted bed stayed in the room and they checked his bili and his temp in the room. He was such a trooper. He LOVED the lights. It would have broke my heart if he had hated it. It would have been so hard.

I am definitely gonna work on my birth story some more..while the memory is fresh but not too fresh, haha. Too fresh = I was like FUCK THAT NO PAIN MEDS SHIT but now in retrospect, (so much rosier) I'm glad I went with out it. Just another aspect of my birth story that I could control even when I felt out of control.

You lack in a sufficient way

"You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting." Knight's Tale

This phrase popped in my head this morning.

RANT

I had a bitch on my mind. I was gonna post in my due date group online...actually I was gonna comment, "That's stupid. Your body was made for your baby." and then decided that calling people stupid was probably just my hormones talking but SERIOUSLY! She was going to ask to be induced or have her membranes stripped because she was '37 weeks and can't take it anymore'. Fuck. Stupid bitch. She isn't ready, let alone is her baby ready cuz DUH if her baby was ready she'd be going into labor. And then says, "I hope it's not too big to come naturally.". Another dumbass thing to say. Your body was made for you baby. That is never a plausible excuse..ok, maybe NEVER but extremely rare. "I don't dilate" is another fucking excuse for a bogus c/s that if I have to hear it again I might blow my top. Or "I'm 36 weeks and 2 cm dilated and 50% effaced...could be any day now!". No you stupid bitch, you can be 6 cm dilated and 75% effaced and still be weeks from labor. That is no tell for when your going into labor. I swear I'm gonna have to stay off there before I go off. And these women who are 37 weeks and begging to be induced. Man up, bitches! Oh, and elective c/s bitch. Those two words don't belong together and your STUPID. Who elects for major surgery because they are scared of labor and think it's better for the baby? Dumbass bitch, that's who. SHIT, I'm sick of ignorance. I can't take anymore. EVERYONE says elective c/s is a bad idea and she's still insisting and acting like people are 'judging' her. Well, don't' ask peoples opinion unless you want it and when 99.9% of people say it's a bad idea...your fucking ass should shut the fuck up and listen. Ok, I'm done.