So I've been spending a lot of time weighing the important question of wether to have another child or not. It's never a question I've taken lightly...bringing another child into the world and specifically into my life deserves all of my grave attention. Of course this decision probably predominantly effects me but secondarily of course my husband so he gets some say so in the matter as well. But when I asked him (one of the times because I've been bringing it up a lot lately) he said, "I don't really care or feel strongly one way or the other...it effects you more than me.". Though, reader, I just pretty much confessed the same thing it was confusing to hear it actually come out of his mouth. Mainly because I've been putting a lot of thought and time into this decision and ultimately together it is one of the most important decisions we will ever make.

I am getting older. 32 in January. The girls are moving on to new phases, new things, new chapters...I want to be the best Mother I can be and when I try to put my feelings aside (Do **I** want another baby or not?) and just think of them...what would benefit them and be completely honest...I don't think it's beneficial to them to have another sibling. Sometimes I look at my little family and feel so complete. Actually I almost always feel that way. Complete.

I want to spend my time coaching, cultivating, watering, encouraging and being the best Mom I can be to the flowers already in my garden. I want to expand all my energies on to helping them, cultivating them...to be the best women they can be. Having another child is honestly less money and less time to go around...less one on one time. I love my children so dearly and I LOVE spending time with them.

It could be that I never ache for time away from them because I have such an amazing, supportive husband. I never have to be happy my children are gone because he allows me (or I demand) that time when I need it and he's always been wonderful to comply. He thinks men should take an active, involved role in taking care of their children. I think a lot of his willingness to help comes from the fact that in the first 18 months or so of K's life...because of our job schedules you would have probably said he was the predominant care giver. He's always been so amazing and such a wonderful father.

I don't know...I still haven't made the final decision on having more children though this blog may sound like I have. I do feel I'm getting to the age where my biological clock is ticking rather loudly...but I don't want to rush a decision or make one for the wrong reasons.

I have a healthy marriage, a supportive family, I'm a SAHM so I CAN devote my full attention to my offspring...and much like people who are crazy never questioning they are crazy...probably the fact that I can voice the concerns I have means I am aware of them and can make wise choices should I decide to have another child. I would make sure I had the time, energy, attentiveness that I needed to give each child..

We work BECAUSE of our differences!

You know just like parenthood there are days where I feel that I have this whole marriage thing figured out and there are days where I'm totally at a lose but I have come to realize one thing that I said recently that makes a whole lotta sense the more I think about it. My hubby and I 'worked' at first because of our similarity's --the things we had in common, and we work now because of our differences. We have a similar vision, life plan..similar thoughts about raising our children (90% of the time)...we have fairly clear divisions in our marriage. I know what he WILL and WILL NOT do and vice versus. The jobs, the roles are fairly clear to us and compared to some ppl's marriages they are different. I've noticed that in my friends marriages, each has their own 'rule' division. Some wives pay the bills, some husbands and on and on and on..each is different but if it works for BOTH of you then that's good. It's just clearly drawing the lines for agreement of both parties. Foy takes out the trash, pays the bills and makes the money. He washes and purchases his own clothes and mows the lawn. I clean the house, cook and take care of the children 110%. He rarely cleans and never cooks and if you ask him when Kylie has a field trip, what her fav toy is or what her fav color is..he wouldn't have a clue. I worry this makes him sound like a bad father..he's an EXCELLENT father. He reads to the kids alot and he plays with them. He keeps the girls when he's home some while I go get groceries or go out with friends. BUT I ultimately bath them, dress them, buy their clothes, food, wash their clothes, change their diapers, plan their parties, purchase toys (including Christmas), cook for them ..I know their fav foods, fav colors, toys they are most interested in...I take them to soccer games, playdates, the library. I am pretty much SOLELY in charge of the children and that's the way I like it and he does too. We are happy in our roles and that's the way it should be. We have differences that go deeper though. He's a neat freak and I'm a bit messy..and this having two personalities helps us balance ourselves instead of drive ourselves crazy. He's anal with paying the bills and I'm happy-go-lucky Lucy--I'm relaxed about that as in everything usually. We genuinely LIKE one another and respect one another and I LOVE THAT MAN. Oh, he's not perfect (like I am) and he drives me nuts alot but I LOVE HIM.