No Hoochy Mamas Here

For days now I've had in mind a blog I wanted to write...I've written in my head numerous times (and talked over some of the issues with my hubby) so at this point I'm feeling a little redundant like I've been here before and already said this.

A couple of days ago I was eating lunch with the girls and some high school girls came in (I would have thought them college except they had on "Tigers Volleyball" shirts) and I was appalled at the booty shorts this girl was wearing. And that's when it dawned on me....a new chapter has started in my life..I'm sure it's been coming slowly or quickly ..I'm sure it may have been here awhile but I suddenly realized that I had arrived there. I use to see these girls and compare them to myself and now I see them and think "Does her father know she left the house in that?" and I compare them to my girls. After all they are closer to my girls age (saying they were 16--that's only 10 years older than Kylie) than they are to mine. I graduated high school 12 years ago. (REALLY?!?) I think about what I want for my girls at that age...realizing at the same time that only so much of what I want will be a factor. By the time they get that age, it will pretty much be out of my hands. I will have had to make sure that I have instilled values and morals and all the proper things to help them make decisions that are good....hopefully to NOT wear those curve hugging, tiny-bit-larger than panties shorts. I mean the other girls were tan and athletic but most of them were wearing sport shorts that were loose fitting and allowed movement and WERE SHORT but were more appropriate somehow. And I don't want you to think that in SOME ways I wasn't comparing them to me...but more like in the way of "I wish I was that age again...ah, what a great age...and most of all had my 18 year old body back (even though it was nowhere as trim or tan as theirs!)". There was another girl in the eatery. She was obviously a bookworm. Shorter, whiter, but still trim and neat ...not so stylish..but with books and a giant purse. And that's when it occurred to me ...who do I want my girls to be? What am I grooming them for? Yes, they go to dance, and soon gymnastics..they did soccer this year and Kylie is currently doing t-ball. BUT they also are in the Summer Reading program at the library and I encourage reading with the girls. We read A LOT around here and I put a big emphasis on school and learning..on reading. I bought posters for the toy room with the alphabet, sounds, number, in cursive writing...I bought books for them to work on this summer to help them next year. Lexie is going into preschool this fall (she's 4) and she can write her name, recognize almost all her numbers (she sometimes gets 3 and 8, 6 and 9 mixed up), recognize all her shapes, colors, and most of her alphabet. I encourage arts and crafts, coloring...I guess I wonder. Will they be the shy, white bookworm...will they look at those girls (if they aren't them) as I did and feel like they are less somehow...feel like they aren't as pretty or popular. I want them to feel pretty and be ....pretty popular but I don't want booty shorts and hoochy mamas. I hope that I can do better than my parents (no offense) in helping the girls feel beautiful as they are. Because that shy, white bookworm might think she's getting the crappy end of the deal right now but just wait. She will grow her wings and the caterpillar will be a beautiful butterfly (with a big brain and lots of opportunities).I guess what I'm trying to say is some of what I'm doing now is going to make a difference and I hope I'm doing the right things. I hope I'm setting the right standards and teaching the girls modesty and niceness and to be fair and sweet and ethical and.....so much. I hope.......I try....we'll see....I monitor more than other parents I see..what they watch on TV which I think has a big part of it. The girls don't watch iCarly or Hannah Montana (unless it's been by accident). I want them to have GOOD role models and I haven't made my mind up about those girls yet...we don't need another Britney Spears incident, now do we. A whole generation of pre-teeners looking up to her and now LOOK.

In closing (I promise I'm closing), I just don't wanna make too many mistakes. I want to be a good parent. I want something in between the shy bookworm and the hoochy mama tan goddess....I want my girls to be themselves. I want them to love themselves and to know that they are loved. Live by a set of values and don't let anyone sway them or give into popularity or the general opinion. I want them to think for themselves and make their own paths. I want them to be happy.

My Old Love...My First Love..

So I bought two books tonight...it's been too long. I do SO love to read and it seems lately with LIFE getting in the way I've had little time for my long lost love ....my fav pastime, reading. I sat on the aisle at Kmart and thought long and hard about my book selection. Since I haven't done it in so long I don't want to waste my time with drivel. I almost selected "Tuesdays with Morrie". I know I'm a little late on this gravy train. I guess I've resisted reading it because EVERYONE was. I try so hard to make up my own mind, live my life according to my rules...and defy the general public that sometimes (out of stubbornness mostly) I rebel against something (like reading a novel that everyone is raving about) when if I'd care more about making up my own mind instead of just being stubborn I might actually like it. I regress. So there I stood in the aisle and I read a couple of pages of "Tuesdays with Morrie" and was spellbound. I didn't want to put it down even to buy it but I closed it and found a couple of other books that sounded good "Water for Elephants" and "Sarah's Key" and ultimately I put "Tuesdays with Morrie" down and selected the other two. I WILL read it though...the next chance I get. Who knows when that will be?! Well, if the weather stays as rainy and dreary as this weekend has been I shall have lots of time for staying inside and reading.

The girls have dance class tomorrow...for the month of June so far anyways. I'm going to look into getting them with a different dance studio because this one is SO expensive. I've had two in town recommended to me. But they are excited, so of course, so am I.

Grow UP--FOR REAL!!!

So recently two ...acquaintances that are 30 and over wrote something along the lines of these two comments: Person A: I'm finding my own place soon. It's time I became a big girl." Person B: "It's time to sit down and figure out what I really want out of life."

All I wanna say is .....REALLY? Just NOW it's time? How can you be over 30 years old WITH a child and still live in your parents house and expect anyone to take you seriously...especially a man. I mean **sarcasm alert** MEN really love it when they have to drop you off at your door step and see your parents peeping through the curtains to see your goodnight kiss. REALLY?! And boy-o, is it EVER time to figure out what you need out of life when your life is almost half over and you have a couple kids. If your just now sitting down to figure that out then you should have grew up a long time ago.

And another thing, I'm tired of ppl whining about everyone being in their business when they publish their business on the WORLD WIDE WEB. Don't do that if you want it private!! For example (this is an ACTUAL example of an ACTUAL PERSON and event that comes to mind), don't post one day that your divorcing your husband and then the next day post about how everyone needs to stay out of your business and not create problems with your marriage. Seems to me like you should have counted to ten (or a hundred) and took a couple of deep breathes (or got a good nights sleep) before you posted that you were divorcing him.

In the spirit of fairness, I've been known to post when in the heat of the moment and regret it later so I can see how it would be done but you can BET that if I posted I was getting a divorce then I damn sure would (if only to save face ;).

I feel more comfortable posting in the heat of the moment on my blog than in my other virtual worlds. ;) Facebook and Myspace don't seem the right mediums. Maybe because when I post something I feel fervently about it requires more than the allotted word space that those two sites give me.

GLEEful Thoughts

I laughed, I cried, I danced, I sang, I loved, I hated, I fell to the depths of despair and rode the clouds of ecstasy. I felt the first beats of love, I felt love endured, love not given a chance, loves unfulfilled promise, love so great it requires you to make choices that hurt you but give new chances to the one you love...THIS is why I watch "Glee". And this is just one episode. ;)

Other thoughts I had about last nights season finale:

Sue's Sylvester's heart grew two sizes last night.

Quinn sure recovered FAST! Craziness... And her 'labor' was much too pretty as TV labor often is but I did love the symbolism in the song and dance that accompanied it.

I love a show that's about teenagers in a show choir in Ohio.... What does that say about me?

The world was ripe for a show like "Glee" after all the sing and dance reality talent shows out there. ex. American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent, etc.