For the Mamas with regrets....I keep fighting to inform.

Sometimes as an advocate for bodily integrity I get discouraged. I feel like I'm helping no one and instead being called an 'extremeist' or 'militant' when I just want to help save other Mama's from the regret that SOO many Mamas have. I have regrets, luckily not circumcision regrets but other ones. In just the short time that I've been advocating for this painful, scarring, needless practice to end I have had  at 3 women come to me speaking of their regret. I had three women who said they didn't know. THEY are the reason I advocate so loudly. I had one friend who I believe is experiencing a form of PTSD because she had to help hold down her nephew so he could be cut. They nicked the head of his penis and took too much of his foreskin as well. His penis will probably curve and his erections may be painful later on in life.

I almost cry writing this. WHY? We aren't cutting the genitals of girls for cleanliness and trust me, vaginas have more folds and nook and crannies than a penis. We aren't cutting out breast buds of girls who have a history of breast cancer in their family as a preventative measure. We aren't telling girls their vaginas have to match their Mothers. WTF? I don't want to look at my Mothers vagina, thank you...nor do I want mine to match hers. We treat girls who have UTIs with antibiotics yet we amputate part of boys' penises to prevent this. WTF? Antibiotics, not amputation!

Sex as nature intended it is the way to go. Here are some articles on the functions of the foreskin. It is absolutely not a useless piece of skin. Remember you are not circumcising a baby but the man that he will become. http://www.noharmm.org/advantage.htm and http://www.drmomma.org/2009/09/functions-of-foreskin-purposes-of.html and http://www.circumstitions.com/Functions.html .

I guess no matter what part of circumcision that gets through to you....no matter what studies I read about how many UTIs he might get in his first year (he's had none), infections (he's had none) or his increased risk of HIV (I expect him to use safe sex practices and not rely on his foreskin or lack thereof to do the job) it always gets back to a few basic common sense things.

1. It can be removed later but never replaced. (Restoration aside, that's another conversation. Though even in this case it will never be the same.) PERMANENT. You are making permanent body modifications to an infant who cannot consent. It is not life saving or even needed.

2. Foreskin is not a birth defect. Say it slow and say it a few times..Every baby boy (unless he has a birth defect) is born with one. That's a plan. A purpose. A reason. Who am I to say I know better than Mother Nature or God or evolution? What other body parts do we routinely remove that aren't a birth defect? NONE.

3. Europe (just to take one country) keeps their babies foreskin attached and have no idea what our issue is with it. They think we're nutso doing things to the genitals of our brand new babies! And I agree! They have whole, intact natural penises and no problem with it.

That's really all I need to know about circumcision. Those 3 facts alone. I've heard the 'look like Daddy' reason and as I mentioned before, I don't compare vaginas with my Mother...I refuse to think my son wants to compare penises with his Father. Plus I'm having sex with my husband's penis, not my sons...creepy that I would want their genitalia to match. If you don't think your son has enough gumption to rinse under his foreskin WHEN HE RETRACTS IT (you never retract a boy, they will retract when they are ready) then you are seriously underestimating him. I'm not really sure what kind of job a man who can't rinse under his foreskin will have.

I want my son to experience sex as nature intended it as well as his future partner. I wouldn't want to rob him (or his partner) of that. If he wishes to do it later he will be able to (see point 1 again). Here is a link about Sex as Nature Intended It.

When I started researching circumcision it helped me to put together some things about my own sex life. In recent years I have resorted to lube. I honestly felt like it was a malfunction on my part but come to find out it's because my Mother In Law had my husbands foreskin removed! Her decision is effecting MY sex life. BUMMER. He should come equipped with his own lube to help with mine not to mention he should have a ridge that fits perfects with my woman parts...but his parts of been surgically adjusted. I will not have sex as nature intended it.

This practice is barbaric and disgusting. I want it to be made illegal.

I am still on a journey.

I started a FB update...but then thought it was running a little long and might be better as a blog. This was it:

"I swear I just saw some chick say that she didn't want to use her breasts for feeding. They make easier ways to do that now because it's the 21st century. How does she think we got to the 21st century? Formula is no comparison to breast milk. FACT. Get informed, get supported and find out how easy it can be! It's natural, it's normal, it's using our breasts for their intended purpose. *steps off soapbox* If you can't breastfeed I highly recommend a milk nurse, donor milk, a supplemental nursing device and then organic formula (homemade might be best). Formula companies LIE. "

Formula companies. LIE. Yes, they do. They seem to be supporting breastfeeding but after all if they REALLY do that then they are out of business because women are gonna connect the dots. We have more childhood cancers and diseases than ever before. Do I think it's all formula? No, I don't have the answer. I just know we need to change things. We need to start thinking really hard about what foundations for healthy eating habits we are laying down in our kids. Not only breast milk but child led weaning. Child led weaning is the baby feeding themselves. Ezra has never been spoon fed. He only eats what he wants and how much he wants. It's easy to overfeed them if your spooning food into their mouth. I have often heard AP/ natural parenting described as lazy and I won't lie, it's THAT easy. The saying goes 'Food for fun before 1'. I love LOVE that Ezra is still getting all the nutrients he needs from me. Everything he NEEDS. If he sleeps through every meal today (in various naps of course, not one giant one) it's no problem because as long as he's nursing I am fulfilling his nutrition needs. How awesome is that! My milk is freaking awesome.

Child led weaning is so easy. Ezra at 9 months would eat what he wanted from in front of him and leave the rest or he may only eat a little of some and a lot of another. I think our cravings in pregnancy and every day life (well, within reason..probably not my crazy chocolate craving..that's more of an addiction) are our bodies way of telling us what we NEED. I want Ezra to listen to his body. He will know what he needs and when he is full. I think breastfeeding and child led weaning are key in putting a stop to obesity issues in childhood in this country. Is it the ONLY answer? No. There are other factors to consider but I do think those are two major ones.

I think eating healthier foods without pesticides or that have been genetically modified are important. I think we need to pay attention to what is going in our bodies and in some cases on our bodies since our skin is our largest organ and absorbs so well. Birth control patches and nicotine patches anyone? I mean we realize it absorbs but we put products on it that we can't even pronounce the name of.

I wish that I had thought to blog my journey. I was just commenting the other day that here to where I am has been a journey...a journey I am still on. I can't even remember where it started but it's snowballed. I wish I had thought to bring you on this journey with me, my friends. It's so hard to go back and remember what study I read or what info I saw that led me here. I even left my husband behind to some extent. He doesn't understand my unschooling. Unschooling is a journey that is just starting for me but so far I am very excited.

Which groceries can you keep?

I don't make New Years resolutions, I think it's silly to set that sort of insane goal for yourself BUT in the New Year  I did make a vow to myself that I would watch my money better and a little more responsibly. In my efforts in that direction I took my credit card out of my wallet and left it at the house.

This morning after I picked the two older girls up from their sleepover I had to go to Albertsons for a few things. I had 27$ in my wallet and I THOUGHT 24$ in the account but I didn't check it. When I went to check out I had 48$ worth of groceries. I put in my cash and ran my card. (I was in self-checkout.) AAANNNND, I didn't have enough on the card so I had to put some things back. I was mortified. So embarrassing! I had to get a manager to void my purchases and return my money so I could start over and only get enough as I had cash for. I mumbled something about a card but my face was red and I was just mortified.

Even at the time I realized that things like these are just good for me. I get to be in a situation so next time I will have empathy for the person in line who might have to do the same thing. While it was going on I thought I couldn't decide if it would be more embarrassing to have someone offer me money, not offer me money or offer to assist me. I just wanted to melt and disappear. I felt like the manager must pity me so.

I can't help that even at the second I had to feel lucky. I mean, I have credit and I have a pantry full of food (just not what I wanted at the time). Some people would really have to make this decision about what groceries they would have to eat and what they would put back, not be able to send their husband out in a couple of hours to get what they had to put back.

So in conclusion, it was embarrassing. I learned multiple lessons. I am lucky.