pompous ass, here

Today I received an email from a girl I went out to dinner with recently. I felt the dinner had went well and counted her among my friends. In the email she basically said I was a pompous ass and pointed out my white middle class privilege. I'm hurt, feeling defensive, and embarrassed because I had no idea she felt this way. I think I am hurt more by what feels like a feeling of false friendship that I've been enjoying. I'm probably somewhat hurt because I feel she might be right. 530 am is a shitty time to wake up and then not be able to sleep feeling shitty about yourself.

Today we are leaving to go camping for a few days and I was excited and happy and now I just feel sick in the pit of my stomach. I want to crawl in a hole and lick my wounds. I won't because my kids deserve better but I can say reading this before I am off to meet new people is going to cause me to be introverted to an extreme extent. Why would anyone want to be my friend?
I feel like so much of my bravado is faked. If I fake it enough it will one day be real, right? I'm unable to fake right now though.
Also, I procrastinated like always and Foy better not say a word. I can't handle any more criticism right now. I will just crumble. :'(