To Everything There Is A Season and What's Mine Is Yours

Life has seasons. I try to accept these seasons as they come and not wish time faster or slower or for it to stand still. Every rough patch, every moment I couldn't wait to end did and led to something better. Though I treasure every day with my babies I don't wish time to slow or stop....the season they are in now will end when it's time and a new season shall begin. I just enjoy it...or try to. I try to live in the moment...not wishing for the future, not looking back on the past or dreading in the present. We have one life, one moment to make the most of it. I truly try to live each day as if it was my last. I think of what's fun, what will make a good memory, what do I WANT to do.

This is not to say I don't look forward to things or reflect on my past somewhat. A little of both are good things. I'm looking forward to my birthday....in a weird way. I guess that's a far cry from my last birthday. I'm looking forward to driving my car, perhaps going swimming...I'm looking forward to getting the 200$ I'm expecting in the mail from my Grandma so I can get me a new iPod. I'm looking forward to February when I get to throw my sis a shower and fly home by myself. I'm looking forward to her having her baby. And as far as my past, there were so many lessons there. I'm a lot wiser and better person that I could have been. I'm enjoying the present too. I've been knitting. I'm looking forward to a good nights sleep in a few minutes. My hubby is home and watching football which I find to be a pleasant back drop to my knitting....and blogging it seems.

I just see so many people dreading things or talking about time flying with their children and for it to slow. I take life at the pace it offers me. I wouldn't change a thing at the moment. I enjoy every day with my girls. They are....well, they are the bestest. If I don't wanna clean....I usually don't. I try to avoid things I don't like doing. Of course, those kinds of things become necessary at a point but then it's just to do it. You can find joy in your journey. I find joy in my day to day life and so should you. I find joy in my children. What makes them happy usually makes me happy too.

Then again I do live the fairytale as Gingerella. My hubby is the bestest, my children are a blessing, my family is doing well, my friends are supportive and understanding. I am spoiled....I'm living on the sunny side, that's for sure. :) But though I think God is shining on me I believe he helps those who help themselves and my hubby works hard. I work hard at being the BEST mother I can possibly be and I don't always take the easy road but I try to take the right one. We worked hard for what we've done and for what we have. I won't feel guilty or bad because I have something you don't. I guess this occurred to me because of my new car. I know a few people on my friend list who have old cars and can't afford new ones and are always working to fix theirs and it's breaking down and they struggle and I feel bad for being so happy about my new car but then again....we work for this. One of them is a single pregnant woman who struggles to support herself but how are her bad choices my fault. Another friend has a hubby who works a dead end job and doesn't make much money and she tries to stay home when they can't afford it...why doesn't he look for a new job? Though I feel empathy and yes, I can't help it a little bit guilty for all the wonderful things we have....for our lack of money issues...but then again, we aren't here by accident or because we waited to hit a million dollar jackpot or because my hubby doesn't work at maintaining a positive work record or keeping his credit score spotless. We planned, worked and MADE these things happen...and so could other people. Life is what you make it. It's something you should make happen...not something that should happen to you. And I realize in saying this that tomorrow the hubs could be out of a job and we could be struggling....but whatever life hands me that I CAN'T control...I feel secure knowing that we will and are making the best choices and will continue and strive to make more what ever may come.

I hope that most people know my joy about the things I own or have is not coming from a mean place. I am very good at sharing my "wealth". I will let you ride with me or borrow and play with my gadgets. There isn't a begrudging bone in my body. I'm not one to be overly anal about my things either. I have children and fully expect them to be children...as well as yours. I would never NOT be friends with someone because of something they had or didn't have...because of lack or boocoodles of money. I try not to see that. I try to judge people on their actions...on their honesty, on their parenting and how they treat the ones they love and the ones they don't...on how their loved ones treat them. Someone on FB today put some quote about the older I get I judge people more on what they do and not what they say. I agree. I can be guilty of snap judgments of people but I would never say I'm not one to change my mind....or admit if I'm wrong. I CAN be wrong.

I don't have time to proofread this tonight and I'm sure a lot of it doesn't make sense. I'm tired and my throat is getting that tightening sensation that usually means I'm getting sick....ugh. So I think I will take some meds and call it s night...I'll look over it tomorrow.

Been there, done that.

So I figured I'd tell you blog...since I tell you things that I tell no one else and since I realized I'm safe here cuz pretty much no one reads it....or will admit to reading it anyways, I'd tell you that I had a weird random vomit last night. Lovely, huh? It could have been the 10 truffles I gorged on right before that....but it did occur to the hubs and I that I could be pregnant. I'm leaning toward not since we do take precautions...not 100% precautions but pretty good ones. I guess I wanted to tell someone cuz of course it's on my mind. Not like I'm gonna run out and buy a pregnancy test (because I'm fairly sure I'm not)...but just a lingering thought. That bit of wonder that comes when you wonder if your growing someone in there. I lean toward no also because I haven't missed a period and I don't usually get sick til after a missed period. Sometimes I swear me getting sick when pregnant is all in my head. But it is funny that this should come along right when the hubs and I have been having a few discussions about wether we're done or not. I go from one extreme to the other. Sometimes I KNOW I don't need another and other times I see a little boy outfit or read about the tiny football league in the paper and I think....one more time? I guess if it should happen 'accidentally' like this then that would sorta be a relief...I wouldn't have to wonder more. In relation to having kids, Foy and I have discussed the bedroom situation. Our house is plenty big to support another child. We have a plan to have all but like 1 of our bills paid off by April so I'd say we can afford another kid. We are seriously considering a minivan (not that we can't fit 1 (or 3) more kids in my current SUV). We've looked at the new Honda Odyssey, Toyota Sienna, and we've heard Nissan is keeping their minivan in play when they were gonna cancel...and there is the Town and Country to consider too. We are leaning toward a minivan.....another kid or not. I just like the versatility and space....the ONLY drawback would be that we would not be able to pull an RV with it, which we can with my car.

Anyways, as always blog...you are a good listener. As far as a pregnancy, guess we'll wait and see. For the first time in my history of pregnancies or pregnancy "scares"...I don't care one way or the other. I feel....relaxed (probably cuz I mostly think I'm not ;).