Limitless Possibilities When You Carry Your Turtle Shell With You!

I see life as a means to a way. If I want something then I don't think about how I can't have it...I think about the steps that will get me there. I say "How can I make this happen?"

This feeling first manifested itself in the Summer/Fall of '99. I worked all summer while staying at my Grandmother's/boyfriends. I worked and saved money so at the end if the summer I could get my own place. I researched apartments, found a job in Lufkin and packed my car to the top (I didn't own any big furniture, just my personal belongings) and made the move and then is when I said to myself..."If I can move 50 miles away like this then what is keeping me from moving 200 miles....a 1000 miles." it was then that the true limitless possibilities surrounded me and I felt well and truly free to go wherever I wanted, BE whoever I wanted. So the people here know me as one thing...I can move at anytime and re-invent myself. Actually the first hint of life's limitless possibilities started when I entered college. My Mom (for reasons that I still don't really know) refused to support my going to college. She refused to give me money, support me, help me pay for it, find me a place to stay, fill out a loan paper....not a damn thing. I even had my boyfriend take me to take the SAT's. My Mom has always resented my fierce independence. I'd say I'm still fiercely independent even married with children. I can take care of myself. I hate feeling helpless or needy...you might as well kill me cuz that would be my version of hell.

There are times when I felt trapped after that...well, really only one. I was managing at Red Lobster, I was pregnant with my first child...we had bought our first house and I owned my first car. ALL these things cost money and I needed the money I was making as a manager to support our lifestyle. There were very few other jobs for a person that didn't graduate college that had better pay, believe me I looked cuz I hated my job. I DID feel trapped but I am one to know when there are no other options and to accept and move on (or so I thought). "I can accept the things I cannot change." Then my hubby rescued me and himself. He found a job that didn't require me to work, packed our belongings up, found us an apartment and sold our house. It seems like when life had me convinced I was trapped he was there for me and I've been there for him since. Speaking of, yesterday he asked me if I ever asked myself,"What are we doing here?" and after many questions on my part he said that he thought it came down to feeling like he was under this house...I think my hubby is feeling trapped so now is one of those times in his life when I'm gonna show him the light and rescue him SO..... our house is going on the market in about two weeks and the Wallace's are lightening their load and looking at limitless possibilities. That takes us to steps to getting what we want so the hubs next days off he nails down the baseboards in the upstairs bathroom (FINALLY!) and I clean our bedroom (PIG STY!). We take some pics and get them and some 'before' pics developed and saved to a CD for the realtor. We make a list of improvements and all the reasons why someone needs to buy our house and find out how much we need to sell it for to pay off our loan. Ta-da. And NO, we have no plans to move. IF (and boy is that a big IF) the house sales soon then we'll just pack up some stuff in storage and rent a house or apartment until the spirit moves us to do something else. I can't see us leaving this town for at least a year and that's even IF the house sales. I feel just fine "here" but if he doesn't then somewhere else we shall go...cuz I'm happy anywhere as long as my kids and hubby are there. They are my turtle shell...wherever they are is where my home is..the rest is just geographical.