Saying Goodbye to Privacy Pt.2

Soooo..back to where I was...in labor on the road to the hospital. Losing the parts of me that are suppose to be rational and logical. Foy (because I'm going to blame it on him even though I may have told him to do it..) turns the flashers on for some reason. He kindly gives me his hand to squeeze and I swat it away. I'm not in the mood for niceness and I do NOT want anyone to touch me right now. So we get to the hospital, where we have pre-registered and I'm not sure why we bothered because there still seem to be a ton of forms to fill out which I'm in no shape for. After all that, I am finally asked if I would like to sit in a wheelchair and be wheeled to the area of the hospital I will give birth. NO thanks! So I get to a small room where they tell me THEY will decide whether I'm in labor or not. They put a strap on my stomach that measure how far apart my contractions are and then they check to see how far I'm dilated -- ONLY 1 cm. What the hell?!? It's gonna get worse. I've been through all this and I've only gotten a fuckin' centimeter out of it. Are you kidding me?!? In the midst of all this checking I start to throw-up. You should know this wasn't anything new to me. I threw up my whole pregnancy I don't know why I expected it to be any different NOW. Except I wasn't prepared and I threw up on myself. So lets summarize where we are right now. I've endured around 4 hours of the most extreme pain in my life to only be dilated to 1 and I'm covered in puke. Gettin' a mental picture here? Well, we all must endure. So continue on with me....I'm then told that in order to decide if I'm really REALLY in labor I must go walk around for 1 hour and after that hour if I have not dilated anymore then I will be sent home. Well, right now I'm cussin' this woman out in my head and thinkin' they are going to have to drag me to my car or give me HEAVY drugs to make me leave this hospital with as much pain as I am in...but what comes out of my mouth is "ok, I'll walk." So I'm already in my hospital gown and those of you not familiar with this lovely invention. It's open in the back and doesn't really EVER close so then I get a lovely paper robe to cover my behind with ...so ...off we go covered in paper (covered in a large amount of paper--remember this a 9 month pregnant woman) to troll the hospital for an hour! I have to stop about every 5 minutes to either puke or pee. When I pee, I feel this SERIOUS need to go and then two drops come out but it's just enough that I have to keep going to the potty every 5 minutes. Somehow I wonder to the floor that the sick people are in and the smell is so bad that I almost throw up in the hall (I'm especially sensitive to smell right now). I have to get out of here immediately is all I can think. The nearest exit was the stairwell so here I go. I decide going down the stairwell might be our best option because I can't stand to CLIMB the stairs (remember I am in labor...in case you've forgotten --I certainly haven't!). But you'll never guess, the stairwell door was locked on the next floor...so down again we go to the next one...LOCKED as well and that's our last option so I must walk UP two flights of stairs while in labor to exit back onto the floor that was making me sick so I can find an elevator. After that adventure, we decided that I should go outside. I needed the fresh air. Well, so much for fresh air. My mom and husband linger about 20 feet behind me smoking-- chattin' about the day, the weather, ..whatever else might be on their mind right now. WHAT THE FUCK?!? I'M IN LABOR HERE! NOTHING ELSE SHOULD BE ON ANYONE ELSES MIND CUZ THAT'S WHAT'S ON MY MIND!! Oh, I'm so mad. But I'm in so much pain that even my anger takes the back seat and I can't tell anyone how this is making me feel. I'm centered on me and what's going on here. We pass some hospital personnel (MEN) who see fit to make a joke about the pregnant women who are always walking around the hospital while in labor. They call them the "Wal-Mart babies" because the women go to Wal-Mart to walk around after they are told to leave the hospital. Well, now you couldn't drag me to Wal-Mart because my child will NOT be known as a "wal-mart baby". So an hour is up! We head back and I go back down on the table...Guess what!?? I am now at a 4. That NEVER happens. People don't go from 1-4 in 1 hour. I'll tell you what pushed it. I DID. ME. I was on a mission. I climbed stairs and I walked like I was conquering the new world. I mean, it was a new world...a new me..a strong me...a me that had a job and was gonna get this done and do it the right way..........AND here's where I remind them that NOW I can have pain meds!

This seems to be a good stopping point for this post. But right now, in my labor I was alot excited that this WAS going to happen today and a little scared that this WAS going to happen today. But overall, I never felt more in charge. I never felt like more of a woman or more in sync with what nature and God intended for me and my body. This was my job. I was made for this. Even if I thought it hurt..my body knew what it was doing. It was in my DNA. It was destiny.