What kind of Father does that?

I haven't talked to my Father in almost a  year. Actually this last text message I sent him (in the green) is dated mid November of last year. That is the absolute last thing I've ever said to him and ever plan on saying to him. I was pouring my heart out. I was letting out years of hurt and questions. I was telling him that I think that when I was 19 and he said to me that he couldn't have anything to do with his kids because he couldn't stand their Mother was BULLSHIT. I am not 19 anymore. I'm a 32 year old woman with children of my own and I can tell  you that NO MATTER what I would see my children. I would drive through hell, I would commit murder...I would spend the afternoon with Hitler, the Devil and Freddy Krueger. My Mother has brought him up and I've did my best to not listen. To be noncommittal because unlike her when I say someone is dead to me, I fucking mean it.

Our conversation had started because he couldn't manage to get my Mother the insurance information for my brother. I mean she is dealing with the every day implications of my brothers diagnosis and waking up at 2 am and worrying when she takes a shower she's gonna find him passed out. And walking tentatively into his room every morning and praying he's not in a comma from a low blood sugar. ALL HE HAD TO DO WITH PASS ON INSURANCE INFO. That was it and his sorry no good fucking ass couldn't even manage to do that. Yeah, I was mad and my voice was raised. He called me my Mother (WORST MISTAKE EVER) and HUNG UP ON ME. Yes, my Father said he didn't have to listen. Fuck that. I was quiet for over 10 years. I had shit to say.

THEN tonight (as you can see at 935) I get this text from my Father (in white). He's a real fucking class act that man. I'm more angry than hurt. What kind of asshole Father send THAT text to his daughter he hasn't spoken to in a year? I'm flabbergasted. But as much as I'm flabbergasted I refuse to open up dialog with someone who is dead.

I really want to FB this. I might end up doing it. For now, I'm gonna think on it and sleep on it.

This happened last year about the same time I was pregnant and lost a large portion of my friends. My brother was diagnosed which was stressful and upsetting to me. Anyone who knows me knows I am close to my brother. My Father was a raging asshole who I disowned at this very tumultuous time. I was pregnant and when I needed my friends to be forgiving and supportive they couldn't be. My heart is still hurt about that.

This may have been going on before this even happened with my friends. I am a very private person though and may have not felt comfortable opening up. I open up here in my blog more than I do in real life. It's just a weird facet of Ginger. I am more at home in the written word....though I am considering a youtube blog. ;) I have the account just haven't had the time to play with the camera and see how retarded I look. :)

In closing, I will not respond to him. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of dialogue. His ass is dead to me and will stay that way but seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?