Nigger or Penis?

I don't know how I forgot to blog this. Don't laugh but I often think I should carry around one of those tape recorders so when really great lines, ideas, blogs or words come to me that I can quickly record them and keep going. It seems my best ideas arrive to me when I'm no where near the computer. When I sit down and hold my hands over the keys waiting for the regurgitation to come, it often doesn't. Then I wind up blogging about....whatever pops in my head. Not always brilliant or insightful and often just....POOP.

When I was in Texas we were at my Grandma's and there was two great aunts, my aunt, my brother, my kids, my Uncle, my second cousin and of course my Grandmother. We got on the subject of the school system and somehow my Mom would up telling the story of how she told my brother to call a kid at school nigger.

Yes, I spelled it out. I cringe to spell it, let alone say it or even hear it. I grew up in a racist town and in a racist family. That's why I scoff at the idea that it's ok to be racist if you grew up that way. I grew up in a very racist family who dropped the N word like no big deal. Even I knew at a young age that it was dirty though. It was wrong. I went to school and learned about Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King...I knew wrong from right. I had eyes in my head and a heart. I could see what was wrong. I could feel hate had no room in my heart.

Back to the story, some black boy at my brothers school called him a fag and didn't get in trouble so my Mom sent my brother back to school with strict instructions to call him a nigger. She's very proud of this story...if this gives you any insight into my Mother's psyche. She says (and keeps repeating), "I told him that we'll call it like it is.". Well, my Aunt wanted to recall a problem her daughter had with the school and her grandson and though it wasn't racist, the story (long and convoluted) did involve the word 'penis'.

Every time my Mother said the word nigger in her story (too many times) I'd cringe and look around for my children. I do not want them to hear that word or be exposed to that. I am not looking forward to explaining racism to them and them seeing the family they loved in a not so nice light.

After we left, that night at my Mothers she brought up the topics of the day and said how much she hated that my Aunt said penis. I mean (her words) Cash was sitting right there! (my 15 year old brother). So let me lay this out for you. She cringes to have someone say the word 'penis' in front of a 15 year old with a penis and I cringe to hear nigger. I mean, which is worse? I told her that penis is the proper name and asked her what she would feel more comfortable with, wiener? The whole incident just astounds me. THIS explains my Mother.

Also while I was home I had a good long talk with my brother. I told him about Mom and 'penis' and we both had a good laugh over it. I have explained circumcision to him. I also asked him if he knew what sex was. Seriously he's 15 and she has never talked with him. It's high time. I asked him if he knew how babies came into this world. We didn't have a lot of time to talk but I think I got the general idea out there and at least I opened up the lines of communication. In my way I was saying..we can talk about these things if you need to. I mean I'd hate to think he's getting his entire sex ed from the x-box (which I'm sure he is) or youtube (cringe).

My brother and I also talked about cow's milk. My Mother disagrees with me that it's bad but I dropped some bugs in my bros ear. He's not afraid to think outside the 'norm'.

The moral of this story is..what's worse? nigger or penis. Well, I definitely know what I think. My kids can say penis. If they say the n-word there will be much discussion and long talks and reading and ...well, I pray they won't.