OMG. I've turned into one of THOSE people, dammit. I have no idea how this happened. It happened gradually but somehow I'm a little crunchier than I started out as! I just realized this today while I was citing reasons why a vaginal delivery was better than a c-sec to this dumb bitch on Cafe Mom. :) She really is dumb and people who were commenting were dumber. (Dumber is a word right now.) "My family always has c-sec and I am having one too. I'd rather have one of those any day than a vaginal delivery.". Shut up you dumb bitch. And that's just the tip. You wanna debate intact vs circ or talk about the virgin gut of babies or talk about Vit K supplements and the need or lack of need for them. Oh man, I don't even like myself right now.....You wanna talk about breastfeeding vs formula. I'VE NEVER EVEN BREASTFED and I still find myself on the breastfeeding side of the debate even though I will freely admit to never having done it. You wanna talk about home birth vs. hospital births...I'VE NEVER EVEN HOME BIRTHED. I'm just...I'm losing my damn mind. I need to shut up. I spent time discussing CDing purchases with some ladies today while admitting I had never CD but was interested and how I'd been researching it and made some purchases.

I WILL NOT EAT A PLACENTA THOUGH! You cannot make me. I will not change my mind. You could site me articles and info til you turned blue in the face and I'd sooner drink a cup on my own piss than eat my placenta in any form just so that's clear.

Talking of home birthing ;) I met with the midwife and her assistant and I'm REALLY PUMPED about this home birth. We discussed eye antibiotic ointment and Vit K and who will be a my birth and methods with dealing with pain and birthing pools (the only subject I didn't agree with her own...I looked up her suggestion and I do not like it..so I'm gonna talk to her about how I'm gonna get a different one). I gave her my records I had gotten from Starla and those mugs was DETAILED. I'd forgotten half that shit but I felt good that she would have them. I passed my 3 hour glucose and I'm super proud that I've only gained 8 lbs so far, whoop whoop. I see her again in 2 weeks. They are also planning a home birthing class in mid-March that will be approx. 5 hours long and deal with pain management and other things. I already told Foy so he could ask off and the kids are welcome she says. The mw said there is another woman who is due around the same time as me. It would be nice to talk to someone. I've been so secluded lately...I'm starting to hate that too. I especially wanna talk to other women who are planning home births or had them before because if I talk to someone that's never wanted to do it or did it I start getting crazy looks and stuff like, "Your brave!" when I feel as if what they were really saying is "Your stupid!". They don't understand WHY I would want to do it. Also most women who are planning a hospital birth are debating pain meds (which I won't be using) and what to pack for the hospital (which I won't be doing) and hospital food (which I won't be eating) and other such things which don't really pertain to me anymore..not for this delivery anyways. I wanna talk about things that I care about and are important to me.

It's moving along. I will admit to having moments of doubt..you know those 2 o' clock in the morning and I can't sleep things where I'm like...wtf, why am I doing this? Why not stick with what I know? etc, etc, etc, and more along those lines.

I'm so excited. We're going on the 11th to buy baby stuff. Super excited and we get our tax refund tomorrow so I'm hoping that I can start making some CDing purchases.