My Valentine

Today I was spending some time thinking about my honey. What an appropriate day to spend time doing that, eh. I started thinking about two times in our relationship before our marriage when we had a bit of a communication issue that now is funny but that the time..if we hadn't clarified could have ended it.

I use to drive to Louisiana to the base there and rent a hotel room for us so we could spend the night together. I could only afford the biggest dump in town, haha..but it was a little piece of heaven while we were there. I mean DUMP, haha...it was called the Sand Motel I believe. We're talking shag carpet and all. I wish I'd taken a pic. There was a c-store in the same parking lot and we would stock up on junk food and sequester ourselves in there until I had to leave for work or he did. We'd eat junk food, make love, smoke, talk and most all of it naked as jay birds. Anyways, one night I said to him, "I want to bath you." in the course of our conversation or just out of the blue..I can't remember how I said it but I do remember saying it. I know it's cheesy but I was in love with his body and the idea of putting my soapy hands on every part (ok, ok..maybe not EVERY part) just sent shivers through me. He looked displeased and said, "You want to have a baby?!?!?" haha...I was like are you crazy, of course not. I was even more terrified of the idea than him. A baby was nowhere in my near future...not even a plan yet. Anyways, if he hadn't spoken up and went on believing that's what I said he probably would have ran the other way and we would have been DONE. It's a funny moment I still think of to this day.....and we now have FOUR babies. :D

I also think of our other big miscommunication moment and this one was something he said. I knew he was divorced but he wasn't much for talking about it but I felt that in order for us to grow closer or our relationship to evolve he was gonna have to do some divulging. I asked tentative questions but never pressured him and finally one night in bed after making love while it was dark and he was comfortable he started telling me some details. I know it was hard for him and I appreciated him opening up to me. It was a hurtful time for him and she hurt him deeply and it was a much fresher wound then. He told me in the course of explaining that she was pregnant when their divorce was finalized. I about jumped out of there and took off running that second! ha! I was already planning my get away. My face would have been priceless if you could have seen it. But I casually said, "Oh, so you have a baby?" and he was like, HELL NO, she was pregnant with another man's kid! Anyways, later it was funny.

We've had moments in our marriage. We made it through the 7 year itch. I itched more but I didn't scratch. We made it through him being so dumb it was unbelievable. We both made some bad decisions, weathered some bad news, made some babies, bought some houses, fought, made up, had high times, good times, ok times and times where we were more like two strangers than two lovers but we're here. It hasn't been a war or a battle (I don't mean to sound that way) but it has been a journey. One that if you asked me today I'd take with him again and again and again. I can't wait for the rest of our lives together. I look forward to it even more now than I did on our wedding day because now we have kids to make it so interesting. There are times when I may have wanted to drown him instead of bath him ;) but I didn't and I'm still attracted to him and even when he drives me nuts I wouldn't trade him for anybody else. He still does it for me. I feel like we can weather what life throws our way as long as we're together and we can laugh. Laughter is so underrated in a marriage but I'd say it is SO essential.

This song is our song lately. I'd marry him "today and every day" and "forever can never be long enough for me to feel like I've had long enough with" him. :D


Marry Me by Train


Forever can never be long enough for me
To feel like I've had long enough with you
Forget the world now we won't let them see
But there's one thing left to do

Now that the weight has lifted
Love has surely shifted my way
Marry Me
Today and every day
Marry Me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me
Feel like I am close enough to you
You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you
And you're beautiful
Now that the wait is over
And love and has finally shown her my way
Marry me
Today and every day
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Mm-hmm

Promise me
You'll always be
Happy by my side
I promise to
Sing to you
When all the music dies

And marry me
Today and everyday
Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe
Say you will
Mm-hmm
Say you will
Marry me
Mm-hmm

I'd like to add (because I was reading on FB and so many people are hating on Valentines) that this holiday much like any other can be as big of a deal or as little one as you want but I THINK the point is to spend a little more time thinking and appreciating and telling someone you love them. After 10 years of marriage, (hell I knew this after 2) love isn't a bouquet of flowers or a fancy show or a diamond ring...love is holding my hand while I push out a new life, it's working your tail off every day to provide for your family, it's doing without so our little angels can have each and every want and need met, it's nights of vomit and puke, it's forgiveness, it's bringing me a glass of water when your already in bed because I'm sick or too pregnant to waddle to the kitchen, it's telling work you need some time off for you girls recital, it's just BEING THERE every day when it's not sunshine and roses...that's love. That's what Valentines is about to me. I spend the day thinking of my loved ones...and why I love them and what love means.