For better or for worse...

This was actually two nights ago:

I'm in a foul mood..I started to spend the night writing facebook updates and then deleting them before posting just to get something off my chest..anything but then decided my blog might be the place to receive solace..or at least do some confessing.

I don't consider myself a really jealous person. Not that I'm the person who is cool with everything. I'm kinda in between...or I think I am. It's hard to get a perspective on this when it's you. BUT anyways, tonight when I opened facebook.com it opened to Foy's page...where he was already logged in. I don't check his Fb..I don't stoop that low and I'm not THAT distrustful but it DID open on his page and he had notifications so I checked them out and he had written comments on this girls post at least twice in the last week so I clicked on her. BOOBS...first thing I see, all up in my face. And I checked out her info and she's single so then I'm like ..how does he know her and so I see that she didn't graduate from Lufkin so I asked him about it. He's sitting right there a couple of feet from me watching football ...I had told him he had notifications..I wasn't hiding or being sneaky or anything. Anyways, he said she did go to school with him at some point. And I'm like..well, you know her well enough to spend most of your post on her? And he's like ..well, I felt like commenting on someones stuff. I hardly do anything on there. Well, I'm off on a tirade. I'm like..of all people, the boobalicous girl whose single is the random person's update that you decided to comment on more than once. WHATEVER. It just pissed me off and I let him know it. NO, it didn't turn into a knock-down-drag-out fight...just some snide commenting on my part finished with a question ..to see if he understood why I was upset about it and a statement that I would like it if he perhaps spread his commenting around more..to less boobalicious people, ya know.

That's how MOST of our fights go...especially in the last few years of our marriage. We're pretty stable. I can see the wrong in me. I do apologize to him and fairly often...usually around THAT time of the month, somehow...hhmmm. I say things and am snotty for no reason or stand-offish or I gripe alot and concentrate too much on the negative and not ANY on the positive. I apologize and tell him he rocks. I randomly think about how he rocks through out the day...for example, he pays all the bills. No, I don't just mean that he makes the money (he does) but that he literally pays all the bills. I don't appreciate that enough. Actually I've been known to go off about how I need to do it cuz him doing it makes him worried, pissy, gives him ulcers...yada yada yada. BUT then I realize that's just another way that it makes it SO easy to be me. I don't have to worry about dates, deadlines, amounts...I just DO me. I take the kids places. I make sure I meet their deadlines for book orders, tuition for dance and cheerleading, uniform orders, places to be for G.S., field trips, ordering G.S. uniforms online, what days K wants to take a lunch, what day she needs to take her P.E. shoes, that L has show-n-tell on Fridays, what time is gymnastics, the PTO meeting, the Parent-Teacher conferences, book hotels for our out of town trip, etc etc etc....THESE are my focus. It allows me to worry about them and not about numbers but about flesh and blood little people that will one day be contributing to society hopefully (or that's our goal!). Anyways, I don't thank him enough for taking the burden on himself as well as his job. He is truly fantastic in every way. Him doing his job allows me to do mine. We're a team...there's a balance. He is definitely my other half.