Ezra does NOT have craniosynotisis. Honestly getting this news was like.....being let out of prison. It was like living the first day of your life over again.
I don't even remember how the day started. It was all a blur til we got to the hospital. Oh wait, I remember. On my way to the hospital my Mother called to tell me that she had let my brother go to live with my Father (who is dead to me if you remember from previous posts) BUT she changed her mind before they got too far away because she couldn't reach him so she picked him up. She had told me she might do this. At the time she told me I decided in my head that I was going to take him. I would be good for him and my Father is a jackass. I thought I had more time to tell her though. I talked it over with Foy and he agreed that we could take him. I told my Mother this when she called to tell me about the debacle with my Father. She said she didn't need it now..that she'd be fine. She's short on cash and not sure if she's gonna keep living where she is or if she's gonna have a car. Her life is in it's usual upheaval, sigh. It makes my heart and head hurt. I honestly have to try and distance myself a little because I just don't know what I can do...or even what I want to do considering our history.
THAT was how my day started. We arrived at 130 for his appt that was at 220. Nervous much? Oh yeah we were. We signed in, got our paper work and were ushered back rather quickly. After a quick consult the doc said, "I wouldn't usually even do the CT since it's so obvious but his isn't so we'll do the CT.". Right there is why I would NOT have been using this surgeon. Who cuts into people's heads without CT's to confirm? CRAZY. I was surprised he sent us so quickly. It took forever at the imaging place down the hall. Of course it was not as easy as the doc said it would be. They didn't have us on a schedule so we had to be fit in. I was nervous they wouldn't be able to get it and we'd have to make another appt and get sedation. I did NOT want to sedate my baby. I was pretty adamant about that. He fell asleep and I hoped he would stay that way (knowing he wouldn't cuz I know my baby). I went alone and left Foy in the waiting room with the other children. He woke up as soon as I laid him down. She strapped his hands down, his chest down and his head down. He was PIIIISSSSED. So she asked if I thought he would take a paci. I told her no but she could try. She put sugar water on it and he took right to it. I was so relieved. He looked so tiny in there. I was so anxious. His paci fell out once and I looked at her anxiously. I was in the room with him (wearing my metal jacket thing). She motioned at me to replace it. I did. It only took less than 10 minutes though. When he was done he snuggled his head into my chest and went back to sleep. I loved it. I love him so much. SOOO much. We headed back to the neurosurgeon for the results. This wait took a little longer though not as long as the imaging. Of course I had my boob out when we got called so I left it out under the cover, lol, and we headed to the room. I didn't even get him latched back on when the doc dropped by and said his head was fine. The sutures were open and his head should round out soon. Elation doesn't do it. I wanted to run, not walk away from that hospital and NEVER look back.
Normal. Back to normal. Normal is definitely nice.
All you need is a scare like that and suddenly you are the luckiest person alive. I felt like the luckiest person alive.
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