How do I know I am truly in my heart a genital integrity advocate? When I find out that the lady who runs Mommycon and is promoting such great attachment parenting ideals cut her baby's penis so he could 'look like his Daddy' and 'be clean'. Oh my heart aches at the ignorance. What's worst is the post she wrote literally has other women de-bunking this very crap she's spouting.
I could only come to my blog with this. I know it may seem silly to be so upset but I was really making connections with people involved and going to work very hard to help them promote and then just BOOOM. I feel like I've been punched.
The first rule of attachment parenting should always ALWAYS be to leave the foreskin attached. He's born that way for a reason. It's a plan, not an accident. Most countries DON'T do RIC (routine infant circumcision) and their babies are fine..also worth noting that they use WAY less erectile dysfunction drugs. An exposed penis gets calloused over time. I don't have the time or the heart to go into all the reasons.
My heart is broken no matter how silly it seems. :'(
Here is a link to her post. She along with some other Mommies run TMD (The Mommy Dialogues). Her name is Xza. (What the fuck kinda name is that anyways and how do you say it?) I recognize her from Mommycon. She was everywhere and the 'one' in charge.
http://themommydialogues.com/to-cut-or-not-to-cut-circumciscion/
Good thing is that there are SOME Mommies on the blog with more sense.
http://themommydialogues.com/circumcision-is-misguided/
This is a story about a woman's regret.
http://themommydialogues.com/the-next-tmd-writer-lakendra-shares-her-story/
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3 comments:
Hi Ginger, I was pointed to your blog after a friend mentioned your concern over my sons penis. Who knew that his penis would generate such emotion from someone across the country from us! Thank you for feeling so passionate about circumsion and the intactivist movement. I am glad that society has people like you who feel so strongly about the intactivist movement and AP parenting. We differ in opinions when it comes to circumcision, and while I do not believe in routine circumcision, I do believe it is a choice that each parent has to make when their child's health is concerned. The first part is to be informed, and I respect that you made the decision that you feel is right for your family.
If you re-read the post you will see that I did not opt for circumcision so my son was just like daddy, we opted to do it due to a family history of circumcision needed later in life, and I did not want my son to go through that. We also did it for religious reasons. On top of that, we consulted nearly a dozen experts, moyles, doctors and midwives on the topic who all agreed that it was the best decision for my son. I will not go into detail on why that is, because I would like him to have some level of privacy and whatever you put on the internet stays on the internet. I hope you find peace in knowing that I respect your decision to keep your son intact and I hope and pray that you do not have to opt for circumcision later in his life as it is an extremely painful process.
Respectfully,
Xza Louise - pronounced X-Za) You can see my youtube videos if you need further clarification.
I consider cutting a child's genitals as a violation of their human rights so I am, of course, concerned about it. If you had a daughter and removed her breast buds because of a family history of breast cancer then I would be concerned about that also. I am specifically concerned because I was dismayed to find an event that I supported as being "forward thinking" (AP, natural parenting) would have someone in charge with such backward thinking concepts on the issue of normal healthy intact male genitalia.
If your "family history" was because of your brother being circ'd later in life, I'm not sure we could call that a history. Not to mention, people rarely remove things from the body as preventative medicine (refering to breast bud removal for example). Without knowing the full details, there can be only a few reasons that were they thought were medically necessary at a young age and most of them would have happened because people were misinformed (and still are) about how to care for an intact penis and possibly forcibly retract it. I am not trying to infringe upon your privacy or his. After all, the fact that your sons penis is cut is info you have made available to all.
As for religious reasons, I would refer you to Brit Shalom. A lot of Jewish parents are choosing it instead these days. I don't believe we have a right to carve our religions into our children's bodies. Not only are YOU making the decision about HIS genitals for him but now you are making a religious one as well. There are some religions that believe in cutting a girls genitals. In case you're wondering, I also worry about their genitalia aka their human rights.
I'm curious as to why you would refer to adult circumcision as "extremely painful" implying that it is not so for a newborn. Why would I do something to a newborn that an adult male wouldn't want to do? Plus as an adult male (or even an older child) you could decide how much you want taken, be put completely under and get awesome pain meds. As a baby, you get a diaper which you will poop and pee in as a bandage and little to no pain control (I can site studies about the inability to completely block the dorsal nerve in a newborn if you wish). As an infant, they can only guess about how much skin to remove and the problems can be endless if its too much. I am currently mobile but will be happy to site you the numbers of medically necessary circs in other countries (like Europe for instance) where intact males are predominant. It is VERY very low which speaks to true medical necessity versus improper care and information. I hope your son is happy with the genitals you chose for him. My son will get to decide for himself.
I am sorry about the name comment. I admit I was being snarky but, in my defense, this is an extremely personal (haha, yes I know the Internet) blog that I do not share publicly and as far as I knew very few read it. I don't know wether to feel flattered or nervous that it was so easily found and perused. I mostly wish (and know I will take precautions to be in the future) I had been more eloquent. I was truly upset and at a loss for words.
I have a cousin whose name is pronounced that way. I confess when I saw it in print I thought of those toys my daughter likes that are called Xia Xia and not pronounced anything like they are spelled.
Way to maintain the Integrity of what you believe in Gingerella!!!
Thank you for helping those of us who are not as informed, learn :-)
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