A Time to Concede, and a Time to Stand.

I made this comment earlier:

"OH, I would only like it if I was the ONLY one running around. I'm sure if everyone told me what they thought it wouldn't be 'the best day ever.' ;) I enjoy people who don't try to change themselves around. It's like religion. I may not mind going to Rated R movies but I respect Roxie for her beliefs in not going. If she won't ask me to change, I won't ask her to change and we can like each other just fine. That's just an example but how I feel about pretty much everything. SOMETIMES your just NOT meant to be friends. You know sometimes you have to have SOMETHING in common to be friends....things are best when you don't force them. I do think you can learn things and broaden your horizons but fundamentally you shouldn't become someone else to make people like you. Its usually gonna end in disaster anyways."

I wanted to expound on the topic. It's not to say that I would not concede if Roxie wanted to go to the movies and I wanted to see a rated R movie. I might concede to see the second on my "wanna see" list that is NOT rated R. Obviously her friendship means more to me than a movie BUT (and poor Roxie, I'm only using her as an example) if she were to say, "I can't be your friend if your not Mormon" then that would would not be a concession I would or should make. There are such large concessions that you could make that would fundamentally change or effect who you ARE at the roots that they should not be tampered with and then there are the concessions we make because we like our friends and we want to be agreeable. Like in a marriage, there has to be some give and take but not concessions in your personality that change your fundamental makeup. And SOMETIMES you can make so many small concessions that you'll realize that you've prostatuted yourself in one small piece at a time and lost your beliefs, lost yourself. "You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything. You've got to be your own man, not a puppet on a string. Never compromise what's right..." Aaron Tippin.

So I can be agreeable and agree to disagree up to a point and then there is a point where I would have to fundamentally change myself and my beliefs to continue to be your friend and that, would be the breaking point. Sometimes if people are having to make TOO many compromises or concessions to be friends then it might be best if they just part ways. There is only so many times I could "bite my tongue" before it would be bitten off...or grievously injured at least.

I want to be a good friend. I can be a good friend. I have friends to prove it. I think bite your tongue a few times and remain friends to mostly enjoy each others company but bite your tongue til your in danger of serious injury..well, you probably don't have a lot in common.
I would not ask this person to change SO many things about themselves to please me. What kind of friend would that be? Better to part ways and let them continue on in their beliefs unmolested than ask them to change for me because alas, I would NOT change for them.