Disclaimer :Claiming Mental Incompetence

So once again, it's been a few days since I made a post so I feel this innate need to blog. It's after midnight. Somehow I am sure this is not the time I SHOULD be bloggin'. I'm sure to say something I'll regret but then again, thanks to technology and all that jazz there is that handy edit button. :0).

Sometimes I'm sure that I should have been a writer and then sometimes I'm sure I should have been a dance coordinator. And then sometimes I'm certain that I should have been an accountant or an actress or a designer (pick a field, any field) or a poet.

Sometimes I'm certain my life ended when I had children, sometimes I'm certain it began when I had children and sometimes I'm certain that the best things in life are ahead of me.

Sometimes I think I'm past re-inventing myself and sometimes I have hope that ANYTHING can happen. People re-invent themselves everyday. Sometimes I'm sure that I don't need re-inventing. I like myself the way I am.

I'm not sure what I'm trying to say other than everyday my feelings, thoughts, opinions and moods change. I guess you could call this a disclaimer for my blog. I may say things that at the time are true and true to who I am and how I feel at that moment but they may not hold true to who I am the next moment or the moment after that.

I'm beginning to sound like one of those people with personality disorders but here's to hopin' I'm not the only one on this crazy merry-go-round of emotion and life.

Remember I told you that I see things in headlines. Well, sometimes I see them in scenes. Like from a movie. I just had a flash-forward (we'll call it that) where they are reading my blog at a commitment trial (as in sanitarium, mental ward, Rusk, the funny farm, you get the idea). "As you can see your honor, this woman is obviously not mentally competent and can't be held responsible for her actions." I'm not sure what I've done but you can bet I'm probably not mentally competent and haven't been for awhile (take it from me, judge:0))

Ok, like I said, it's after midnight and now I'm just getting stupid. I think it's the pressure from trying to pick out paint for my house. Every room is somehow coming out blue/blue grey. I'm hoping this has the opposite effect of making me feel "blue". I'm hoping it makes me feel serene and calm. I need serenity in life....if only to accept the things that I cannot change.

Goodnight.