Kittens Come From Holes :)

I try to always be as honest with my children as possible, for example:

Kylie asked me if Santa was real. Apparently there was some talk at school. I told her that Santa could be real if she wanted him to be. She can believe in him if she wants. I think of him more like being the spirit of Christmas..of love, laughter, family, giving, friends...all those lovely things have a mascot, Santa. Of course, we've talked about WHY we have Easter and Christmas. I don't take my children to church on a regular basis (which I regret) but I give them the information that I can. BUT I was honest, that's my point here. I try to be honest with them. Another example:

She asked me where kittens come out of on a cat? She's asked me similar questions about humans but I told her one way was to cut it out and there was another way I would tell her about later. I told her that it hurts alot both ways but when your old enough to decide you want a baby then your old enough to accept that what comes from labor and pain is joyous and wonderful and you accept it. I spent more time talking about how it's BEST if there is a Mom and a Dad and  you are married. That it is POSSIBLE to have a baby and not be married but it's not the best way. And I told her that a Mommy and Daddy make the baby together with God's help. That's about the gist of what was said. BUT when she asked about the cat I told her a hole..lol. Well, it is a hole..in both cases. She accepted my answer readily. We then talked about how some animals have eggs and some have live babies. I didn't think it was inappropriate or wrong and it was enough info to satisfy her. There were no more questions.

Anyways, like I said, honesty. I don't offer up more info than is necessary or prod her to ask more questions. I think every kid is different when you get down to it and though there is a general timeline for things you have to know your kid and be ready to give them appropriate information.

I don't want to ever think I have lied to her. And I don't mean telling her the truth as I see it (or at least if I do acknowledging that it is MY truth) but good honest real info.

I don't know if it's the right time to approach religion with her. I don't want her to be confused. I want her to make her choice about what she believes and to accept others for what they believe and to not feel bad if her choices and belief's change. I don't expect her to be a cookie cutter model of me. I hope and pray that whatever decisions she makes (including religious ones) that I can accept them for good ones..different ones than me perhaps but her own. That's all I ask is that my children make up their own minds and don't let others (including myself) make it up for them. I hope they approach everything scientifically. Willing to listen to all sides equally and keep an open mind before they make decisions. Right now I present my belief's to them ..within reason..but I expect them to question them and me and come to their own conclusions eventually...when the time is right.

I'm a stubborn woman and I'd be lying to you blog if I said differently and I will balk at their decisions if I believe them bad but (other than putting their bodies in harms way) I will TRY to accept them. I will try to still my tongue and be the best Mom I can be.

Parenthood. Who? Me? You? Who knows?

I want to be a good parent. Hell, what am I saying, I want to be a GREAT parent. Some days I'm sure that I've got this thing called parenthood all figured out. I do something that leads to a 'good' behavior in my kids and I get to pat myself on the back and then some days I think I must have this all wrong. I don't know what I'm doing and I don't have ANYTHING figured out. I try not to confuse myself with alot of info coming in from a book or a tv show because I figure if it was that easy then we'd all be 'perfect' material instead of the screw-ups we are (speaking of myself mostly of course), right? I try to go with my instincts..it's like a blind man feeling along in the dark..that's what parenthood is like. It doesn't feel like a billion, zillion ppl before you have done it...it feels like your climbing Mt.Everest for the VERY first time. I mean we get advice (more than we can handle sometimes) and some of it is usable and some of it we have to leave to the wayside and do what works for US and our kids.

The days (some days) when I think I have this figured out then I think HONESTY. Honesty is the key, right. Age appropriate information...consistency, saying NO (some ppl find this difficult?!), trust, open lines of communication...
But the days I feel like I'm a stumbling blind man I think..it's luck. Sheer dumb luck when our kids come out ok. God, maybe. Luck. DNA. Destiny. Fate. Whatever you wanna call it. Who knows? I know I don't have all the answers and I don't know anyone that does ...no matter if they CLAIM to or not.
Sometimes I think its a fleeting moment. You have a fleeting moment to make an impression, to do your job and if that moment passes...if you don't take the chance when it's there then you've lost. You may have lost in the most important moment of your life.

No pressure here, of course... ;)

Later (2 hours later) it occured to me that with your first child you think you have it figured out, right? You have your second and you think, I've totally got this and then you try something that you remember working with the first and your second throws it back in your face and your like WAIT. I know this is not a totally NEW person....with different thoughts, feelings, abilities...(and you start desperately searching for the manual that came with this ONE ..what did I do with that? Surely it was included in those papers I got at the hospital...). And it's like starting over again and again and again. And THEN you have to figure out how to be a fair parent (or appear fair) while parenting each child like THAT child needs it. That's why NO book in the world is gonna have all the answers because the answer is always different unless we want to start having cookie cutter kids which would be EASY to parent but definitely NO fun. ;)